Decisions.

You and I will both make over a thousand of them today – from what to eat for breakfast to what to watch on tv tonight.

Some decisions are simple and have no risk. But others – like choosing a college – can shape the rest of a young person’s life.

For LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer) youth, the list of decisions they make has additional complexities. Among the most difficult of those… do I risk losing the love and support of my family?

Should I Stay In The Closet or Come Out?

Before deciding where to attend college or what to major in, LGBTQ+ youth often face a bigger decision: Should I come out to my family?

When I was 17, I used to spend weeks preparing myself for “the talk”.

My plan seemed to change daily. Should I tell my dad first? Then my mom after? Do I speak with them both together? Does it need to be a sit-down conversation? Would it go smoother if I just wrote them a letter?

Closeted LGBTQ+ student in front of library books

Coming out was an ever-changing puzzle – one that I ultimately decided I was not ready to solve as a teenager. The stress was too overwhelming.

As I entered college, I had a constant vision of what I felt would happen if I told people I was gay. Even though my family had shown me nothing but love for 18 years, I kept picturing my parents disowning me. My siblings hating me. And my best friends never speaking to me again.

I made the personal decision to wait until after college to come out because I needed that time to figure out my journey. And luckily, when the time came to have “the talk”, my family was supportive and caring, and helped me realize that hiding who I am to please others is no way to live life.

Sadly, not all LGBTQ+ youth have a happy ending to their story.

Coming out is a difficult journey.
Your voice can make a difference.

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Should I Skip College or Pay For It Alone?

For many, coming out can tear apart family relationships and even take away their financial security.

The fear of being kicked out of their home and losing the love and support of their family can often turn into a tragic reality. According to a study by the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law, LGBTQ+ teens make up 20-40% of the homeless youth in California, despite representing only 7-10% of the overall state’s youth population.

For many LGBTQ+ teenagers, it’s a daunting choice between hiding their authentic selves or funding their future by themselves. According to the Human Rights Campaign, nearly 20% of LGBTQ+ youth report staying in the closet until they are financially secure.

Looking back, my dream of a college education was made possible because of the love and financial support of my family.

With the average cost of a four-year college degree now soaring above $108,000, students need financial support to afford their higher education.

While most students receive some form of family support (74% according to Sallie Mae’s 2024 report), LGBTQ+ youth typically get significantly less:

  • The percentage of gay, lesbian, and bisexual students who receive financial support from family is 12% less than their heterosexual peers.
  • For transgender students, there is a 17% gap.

Many LGBTQ+ students who choose to fund their education independently turn to student loans. On average, LGBTQ+ students borrow $16,000 more than their straight peers.

Unfortunately, 60% say they later regret that decision as payments become unaffordable.

Coming out is a difficult journey.
Your voice can make a difference.

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Can I Push Forward or Do I Give Up?

The road to college is a major milestone in any student’s life, but for LGBTQ+ students it can provide the lifeline they need to keep going.

For me, college was about figuring out the person I wanted to be.

It was about having a space to breathe again and mentally unpack how being closeted my entire life was negatively impacting my mental health. It was about having the space to think, the space to learn, and the space to create my own future.

Like most members of the LGBTQ+ community, I constantly hope that the next generation behind me will have an easier path.

We know that with each generation come new challenges, but in our minds, things should be getting better. There should be less discrimination. There should be more acceptance.

It saddens me to see today’s LGBTQ+ youth community has higher rates of anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts than their peers:

  • 41% of LGBTQ+ students have seriously considered suicide in the last year – more than double the rate of their peers (19%).
  • The Trevor Project reported a 33% uptick in its requests for critical lifeline services, including suicide prevention counseling, in January 2025.

How the National Rainbow College Fund Helps

Through my work at San Diego Foundation (SDF), I’ve met resilient LGBTQ+ youth across California who are going through these challenges.

Students like Brayden, who dreams of becoming a child psychologist, students like Tyra, who wants to study business and one day lead a corporation, and students like Elliott, who wants to pursue a passion for environmental policy and make an impact on climate change.

These amazing LGBTQ+ teenagers need us now more than ever.

At SDF, we help all students build a foundation for their future and the future of our home. That’s why Education is one of the key focus areas of our Fifty & Forward 50th Anniversary Campaign, building on the long success of our scholarship programs.

One of our newest education initiatives, the National Rainbow College Fund (NRCF), is near and dear to my heart.

National Rainbow College Fund

NRCF is the first program that offers scholarships to California LGBTQ+ students – whether they are publicly out or not. We’re giving LGBTQ+ youth the opportunity to figure out who they are, what their future holds, and how they can live their lives to the fullest while still being true to who they are.

Together, we can help provide LGBTQ+ students, regardless of their situation, the support they need to pursue higher education without fear, shame, or financial barriers.

Will you stand with NRCF and advocate for better access to scholarships and help LGBTQ+ students achieve their dreams?

Your voice makes a difference.

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